We won't sleep together?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
