my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
