My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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