I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
