I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
