explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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