I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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