pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
