I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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