Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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