I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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