found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It's Friday. Sex?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
