everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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