I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
