they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
