If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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