So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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