I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
