vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
