so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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