Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
