You made me cry and you don't even care
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
