i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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