my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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