I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
