We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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