So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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