Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
