he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Princesses don't give blow jobs
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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