big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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