I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
