that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
