Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
