like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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