My Higher Power is John Stamos
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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