I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
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