White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
