Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
