I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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