We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
