you should give me head with plastic fangs in
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
