haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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