When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
