wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
