My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
