And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
