Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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