New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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