i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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