WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
