im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
